You owe me $250 for the blood test, Andy.
And $9 for that drink.
Look, everybody just calm down. Andy, you may or may not have given her herpes.
She may or may not be overreacting. I may or may not have slept with that bartender.
He is my type, and yet, he has a job, so he's not, and he goes in the "Maybes."
Look, Caroline, I'm really sorry, but I am totally clean.
Since we broke up, I have only had safe sex with a special ed teacher and a dental hygienist.
I mean, that job has "hygiene" right in the title.
Wait, oh, there were a couple of times where I did have unsafe sex with myself.
But only when I couldn't sleep. And a lot of other times.
I will go get tested tomorrow, but please, in the meantime, try not to go to the worst-case scenario.
I'm not going to the worst-case scenario,
but if we both have it, no one else is going to want us, so we should just get married.
"You gave me herpes, now you have to marry me."
You want to save that gold for our wedding vows?
Well, if you don't use it, I will.